I think Jamie is trying to kill me...

Let's go back in time a few months and a burned through paycheck or two ago...
Jamie and I were chatting via email... she proposed that I join her on a venture of joining a roller derby league. I agreed for 2 reasons. 1. I thought I was agreeing to something kinda like when you agree to eventually be a crazy cat lady named Edna... a future goal that may or may not be realized. and 2. I knew it would get her off of my back about cutsgiving and I really wanted to keep my hair.

Now that we are really going to be derby girls... or are derby girls.. or something.. it seems quite unreal. I was really excited at my first derby bout because we hadn't really practiced enough for me to know how much I needed to do to be ready for derby. It was loud and tough and awesome. The Paducah girls seemed like these weird amazons that I could never be cool enough to talk to. Since I have practiced with them a few times and even taken a hip check from Mean Mean Mississpi Queen who is a total badass! (Okay... taken does imply that I took it well... actually I crumpled like a damp paper towel and sheepishly rejoined the pack after squeaking an excuse about having not practiced much yet.)

Last night, after a very confusing and less than direct drive, we went to a derby bout in St. Louis. My excitement at my 4th bout was different than the first 3. I've been going with a mixture of excitement and joy at sharing my love of derby with others. Last night it turned quickly to trepidation. what if I am not good enough to actually bout, like ever? I am so afraid that having gotten better through the last few practices is about to reach a standstill... what if I never learn to t-stop or can't get those spins figured out!? I have to get better and do so quickly and I am getting frustrated at how difficult some of it seems and at how overwhelmingly difficult some of it looks cause I am too much of a weenie to try some of it. Also my endurance is just not there yet... plus I worry that the girls aren't going to like me (cause I am a total dork like that and not at all cool like so many of them.)

Anyway, the first few practices in Paduch kicked my butt. Then we had several weeks of less than productive Emery Brothers practices where we meandered around in circles. Then we got a real home (and it rocks!). Jamie introduced me to the video from hell the same week that we started for-real practicing. This was last week, though the calf pain seems oh so long-lasting for it to have only been Tuesday.

I just finished day 5 of the Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. I really didn't want to do it. Keyzer was encouraging me not to.

I laid out my weights to give him the idea. And added the wiimote for size comparison. He got upset and left when I told him he was a fatty and needed to join me.

In the video, evil Jillian says something like "If you're on day 5,6,7 it's probably getting easier..." and I flipped her off.. or tried to... cause I was huffing and puffing and holding my pink dumbells.. mostly I just cursed her between exhales and hoped that either the 27 minutes would end soon or that I would die... either would be acceptable.